


This Librarian

by zetsubou69



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen, Library, Night Vale, Typical Night Vale Violence, just a typical day, ugly stuff (if you squint)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-20 23:56:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21065336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zetsubou69/pseuds/zetsubou69
Summary: “Let’s take a close look at what goes on at the Night Vale Public Library, said the voice on the radio. And you were pleased, because you’ve always wanted to know more about the Library and the Librarians. Welcome to Night Vale.”





	This Librarian

“Let’s take a close look at what goes on at the Night Vale Public Library,” said the voice on the radio. And you were pleased, because you’ve always wanted to know more about the Library and the Librarians.”

“Welcome to Night Vale.“

Most of the days the Night Vale Public Library is a lovely place where one can seek knowledge, waste some time hanging around, perform forbidden bloody rituals with qualified supervision, be viciously maimed, or die a horrible death, and many other things. It’s the usual public service. The outcome really depends on the unpredictable placement of celestial bodies in the void and one’s own luck.

As the sun sets with a deafening shrieking noise This Librarian takes a final contemplative look at the list of overdue or lost books once again and sighs heavily. The smallest humans always borrow the highest amount of books and they never care to return them at the end of the Summer Reading Program. This Librarian wonders, whether it’s because the expendable offspring are the only to enter the library throughout the year, despite the lovely posters such as _“You are going to get inside this book, and we are going to close it on you and there is nothing you can do about it”_ – This Librarian's favourite. Unfortunately, theft seems to be the common occurrence in this era, and much to This Librarian’s dismay, given that the citizens of Night Vale pay their taxes or suffer consequences, and Night Vale Public Library is funded by taxes, there is nothing they can do. Absolutely nothing. They can maybe only educate people on the importance of returning borrowed books, as overdue books are prone to bestowing unpleasant curses on the borrowers. A sudden loss of formerly unspecified monetary amount or itching in a sensitive area being the least of one’s concerns.

“Hmrrrr…guh guh guh…” announces Librarian Jani, short for the janitor, as they pass by. This Librarian nods, acknowledging their request. Of course, This Librarian will collect the empty iced tea glasses and return them to the shared kitchen, what kind of beast do Jani think they are?

This Librarian would love their job much better if only the Summer Reading Program did not result in so many missing books. While the Night Vale City Council had had a few good ideas during their reign over this friendly desert community, the fake news agenda of announcing books to be more dangerous than Sarine is just ridiculous. The hungry book with teeth that bit of one of City Council’s appendages off was only looking for some cuddles, and the Library paid the severance several times since. Ugh! What an atrocious misunderstanding.

But enough contemplating, there’s work to do.

Since the beginning of September, the amount of This Librarian’s workload grew significantly. Pre-ordering books that are never to be printed, dealing with post office employees, reminding Librarian Charlie not to flirt with the postman and lots and lots of re-shelving.

This Librarian’s promotion was indeed an unscheduled event. But who on Earth schedules their summer holidays? Of course, there are those _tourists_, who plan their holidays in Switz, but that's only because they need to fill out appropriate paperwork before leaving Night Vale. This Librarian prefers a nice staycation with lots of reading material. 

You know, a good rest and recreation!

“But sometimes you just have to cut your losses and move on,” said This Librarian and stepped over the rotting headless body of the late Head Librarian, whose head had been carried out as a trophy by the fierce Tamika Flynn. Residing Librarians were not allowed to follow her outside and collect it back, as they had other important duties to attend to at that time, namely cleaning out the viscera books hadn’t yet consumed from the shelves. However, This Librarian was not concerned that much. Tamika promised to return the Head Librarian’s head in a month, the usual lending time, and she has never been overdue. Yet.

This Librarian waves at Librarian Michael as they passed by. Michael was never much fun, but they were the best chess partner for the Wednesday chess club This Librarian could ask for.

Michael is a much better chess partner than Erikas. Mostly because the angels always ask to borrow things and never return them so they’ve been added to the Banned Persons and Creatures list (which basically serves as a do-not-lend-anything-to-them list) in addition to them being banned by someone else previously elsewhere.

Michael also likes to listen to the weather forecast channel on Night Vale’s community radio. This Librarian doesn’t understand why, as there is no weather in the library, only carefully kept conditions; relative humidity about fifty percent and temperature about 70 degrees Fahrenheit, which is about 21 degrees Celsius. This Librarian likes nice numbers.

But enough contemplating, there’s work to do.

Rewinding the clock is always hard work and Librarian-Steve from the history section is no good at it. This Librarian empathizes, claws are hard enough to use on a delicate piece of machinery, tentacles or any spider-leg like limbs must be quite inconvenient for such task.

And so the workday continues, slowly and steady, as the ever-changing river of time flows through us all and we do the tasks we set out to do, or not do them, it really depends on some unpredictable circumstance we don’t feel like talking about now.

After a long night of work This Librarian hops on the couch facing the sunrise side (they suppose it’s the south side today, but who knows, the ever changeable sun often decides to rise from the west, no matter what the lovely scientist Carlos claims it should do) and tunes in to the radio where the host is just finishing his show.

“…and we all dream and sometimes those dreams come true. Listeners, stay tuned over for the recording of Erikas singing hymns, because as you know, angels don’t exist, but a group of tall winged figures can form a choir under the leadership of the Old Woman Josie, that is legal.

And with this peaceful and quiet sunrise, goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comment and kudos are love. No really, I am a super hungry creature and I need to be fed some feedback and love to survive. So feed me, I'm really hungry. There's no food in the Dog Park.


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